at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
