She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
