If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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