Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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