Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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