I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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