All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
