Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
