I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
