i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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