I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
