john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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