Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."

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(541): View more from Oregon

Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.

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(941): View more from Florida

Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.

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(239): View more from Florida

I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.

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