Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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