it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
