Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
