hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
