So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
