Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
