Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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