like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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