I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
