Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
