so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
foreskin is a definite game changer
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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