He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
