So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
