Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
