I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
