white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
