the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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