Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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