sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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