yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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