Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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