i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
