obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
