You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize