Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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