after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
