I think im going to throw up on grandma
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
