So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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