pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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