Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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