Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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