dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ketchup is God's man juice
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
