a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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