hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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