IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
