I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
