Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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