so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
