Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
