If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
