bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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