just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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