I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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