never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize