found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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