i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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