Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
